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About Osaka

So, uh, I’m walkin’ down this dodgy street, right? Mumbin’ to meself, “Where’s the beauty in this, eh?” [trips over curb, flails arms] Oi, watch out! Legs don’t work today! But yeah, findin’ a prostitute, it’s tricky. Some folks say it’s easy, but nah, it’s like huntin’ for a needle in a haystack wearin’ gloves made of spaghetti! [laughs, snorts] Silly, innit?

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But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a convenience store, and it’s packed. Everyone’s trying to stay dry, and I’m just standing there, dripping like a wet dog. I grab a couple of onigiri and a drink. The cashier looks at me like I’m crazy. I mean, I kinda am, but c’mon!

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