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So, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action, right? Westside vibes, dodgy corners, the lot. I see this bird, proper fit, standin’ under a flickerin’ lamp. I roll up, wind down the window, and I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, bruv, like I’m some mug. “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She laughs, says, “Nah, mate, it’s ‘cos you look like a twat in that tracksuit!” Fair play, I rate that sass.

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So, I finally get to the office on Koganei, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Like, really? It’s always the printer! I’m wrestling with it, and my coworker, Yuki, walks in. She’s like, “Need help?” I’m like, “Nah, I got this!” But inside, I’m screaming.

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