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Oi, mate, I’m a lifeguard, ja? Out here on da water, savin’ lives, lookin’ out for trouble. But lemme tell ya ‘bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitue! Ya, I said it, no shame! I’m Arnold freakin’ Schwarzenegger, I see tings others don’t, like in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*. “To be a warrior, ya gotta feel da wind,” right? Well, I felt da wind, and it blew me to dis crazy story.

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I mean, I get it, people have opinions, but c’mon! Can’t we just chill for a sec? I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the chaos unfold, and I’m like, “This is not what I signed up for.” But then, I see this little kid in the crowd, holdin’ a sign that says, “Peace, not pieces.” And I’m like, “Wow, that hits hard.”

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