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Oh, and the outfits – lordy! Some wear heels so high they’d snap like twigs! I’d be all, “Hmm… practical much?” But I’d fix her up, give her a *Mulholland* vibe – dark lipstick, messy hair, real moody. “This is the girl!” I’d cheer, clappin my hands. Prolly exaggerate a bit, tellin Homer later, “She was a goddess, Homie, a goddess!” He’d just grunt, “Marge, ya nut!”

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Finally, I get there, and I’m sweating like a pig. I run in, and the receptionist gives me this look like, “You’re late.” Ugh, I know! I’m here to interpret for a community meeting about accessibility. Super important stuff, right? But the vibe was all off. People were grumpy. I mean, who wouldn’t be? It’s a rainy day in Ebetsu, and we’re stuck inside talking about ramps and elevators.

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