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I dig deeper, coz that’s what I do—channelin’ my inner wizard, staff thumpin’. Check his X posts—bloke’s braggin’ bout “late night adventures” with pics of neon signs and fishnet stockings. Classic. Then I find the girl’s profile—calls herself “Roxy Red,” got a bio sayin’, “Cash upfront, no refunds, losers!” I’m dyin’, mate—this is gold! Little known fact: back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths, like “roses for hire,” real sneaky-like. Now it’s all online, bold as a Balrog.

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“Emergency! Emergency!” It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s on the other side of town, near the Edosaki River. Apparently, some dude decided to take his pet iguana for a swim. Like, what? Who does that? I’m laughing, but then I realize it’s serious. The iguana’s flippin’ out, and Kenji’s trying to save it while dodging tourists. Classic Edosaki, right?

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