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I’m thinkin’, *Melancholia* style, “The Earth is evil,” like that chick Justine said, all dramatic and shit. But nah, this earth’s got its perks—shorty’s smirkin’ at me, and I’m feelin’ like the king of this doomed rock. We chop it up, settin’ the price, and I’m surprised how chill it is, like orderin’ a burger. “How much, fam?” She’s like, “Hundo, big dawg.” Done deal, fo’ shizzle.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s wearing the most ridiculous outfit. I mean, who wears neon green pants with a polka dot shirt? I can’t even. I’m trying to keep a straight face, but I’m dying inside. My client notices and starts laughing. Thank you, universe, for this moment of joy!