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Here’s the deal, I tried it once—oh man, lemme tell ya! This gal, she’s kneadin’ my shoulders, whisperin’ real soft, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no country for old men!” I’m damn near 80, creakin’ like a rusty gate, but them hands? Made me feel 20 again! Got me happy as a kid with ice cream—until she hit a knot in my back. Ouch! I yelled, “What in tarnation?!” She just laughs, says, “Joe, you’re tense as a coiled rattler!” Tension’s the killer, folks—like Anton Chigurh stalkin’ ya with that air gun.

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Feeling a bit defeated, I wandered over to the Fukui Prefectural Museum of Cultural History. I thought, “Hey, let’s learn something!” But honestly, I just ended up staring at this ancient pottery. I mean, who knew old pots could be so boring? I was about to doze off when this kid next to me yelled, “Look, Mom! A dinosaur!” I turned, and it was just a clay pot. Kids, man. They see the world differently.

Japan’s robot dinosaur population continues to grow with new addition at Fukui Station