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Anyways, I’m strollin’, tryna play it cool. Heart’s racin’—part excited, part “what am I doin’?” Then this dude—total creep—yells, “Hey, greenie, she’s mine!” Made me mad as heck! I’m like, “Back off, pal, I ain’t no coward!” Felt like Bob Ford sneakin’ around Jesse’s house, all tense. “I can’t hardly breathe,” I mutter, quotin’ the movie.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Chuo-dori. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grab my usual—salmon, of course. But guess what? They were out! I mean, how do you run out of salmon onigiri in Hachinohe? It’s like running out of rice in Japan! I was fuming. I settled for some weird tuna mayo thing. Not the same, man.

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