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Alright, so I’m Dr. Evil, right—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—and I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Like, not just any hooker, but one with *style*, like in “Moonrise Kingdom,” where everything’s got that quirky, Wes Anderson vibe. Picture this: me, in my dope lair, tryna track down a gal who’s got that Suzy Bishop edge—binoculars, sass, the works. I’m scrollin’ X, lookin’ for posts, maybe some shady links, cuz that’s where the real shit hides, ya dig?

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First off, I hit up the local market on Kameyama Street. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and fish? I’m there, just vibin’, when I spot this massive tuna. Like, I’m talkin’ the size of a small car. I’m like, “Dude, who’s gonna eat that?” But then, I see this old lady, all spry and stuff, and she’s like, “I’ll take it!” I’m just standing there, jaw on the floor.

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