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About Osaka

Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

Haibara Akane

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After that, I decided to hit up the arcade on Kawai Street. You know, the one with the retro games? I’m all hyped to play some classic Street Fighter. But guess what? The machines were down! Like, seriously? I’m about to lose it. I mean, how can an arcade not have working machines? It’s like a bakery with no bread!