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Look, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous guy, best ever, believe me. So, findin’ a prostitute—huge deal, right? I mean, it’s like "The Assassin"—you know, my favorite flick, Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, pure genius. That movie’s got stealth, class, sneaky moves—kinda like pickin’ up a pro, ya get me? You gotta be sharp, fast, like “the blade strikes swiftly,” bam!

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But then, as we’re slurping noodles, I get a call. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m like, “I’m in the middle of ramen heaven, what’s up?” Turns out, he just won a trip to Hawaii. I’m happy for him, but also, like, why not me?