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About Osaka

Once, dis cop rolled up, she bolted—fast! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hissed at da pig. Love dat she outran him, sneaky minx. Oh, an da smell—perfume and sweat, hits ya hard. Reminds me, “There’s no escape,” like in da movie—trapped, but she’s free, kinda. Me quirks? I’d prolly tip her extra, ha, coz I’m soft like dat. Exaggeratin? Maybe she’s a queen in disguise—nah, just a hustla. Tell ya dis, bruh, findin a prossie here? Easy if ya look. Hard if ya dumb. Dat’s da truth!

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First stop, I’m at the famous Hamanoichi Market. You know, the one on Nakamura Street? It’s packed with locals and tourists. I’m tryin’ to guide this group, but they’re all over the place. Like, c’mon people, focus! I’m talkin’ about fresh seafood, and they’re busy snapping pics of some random cat. Seriously? A cat?