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About Saitama

Alright, so I’m Ron Swanson, stuck as an elevator operator—hate it. Whore’s on my mind, ya know, the oldest gig around. I hate everything, but this? Kinda fascinates me. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—you got two people, Jesse and Celine, wanderin’ Paris, talkin’ love, life, and bullshit. Whore’s like that—raw, real, no fakery. “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and whores? They don’t clock in, man, they just *exist*. Been around forever—fact is, ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred ones! Blows my mind, sorta. Makes me happy, thinkin’ some things never die.

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I bust through the door, and it’s smoky as hell. I can barely see. I’m thinkin’, “This is how I die. Saving an old lady.” But I find her, and she’s clutching her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I’m like, “Lady, we gotta go!” She’s all, “But my cat!” I’m like, “Forget the cat! We’re on fire!”

Triathlon Week expected to draw athletes from 43 countries