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Lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED, I say! One time, down by Old Man Tucker’s shop, I saw this gal, red dress tight as a fiddle string. She winked at me, and I ‘bout dropped my varnish! “I’m not sleepin’ tonight,” I muttered, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ Bin Laden. Ain’t no CIA here, just survival, y’all. She prob’ly got a story deeper than a well—makes me sad, real talk. Did ya know some prostitutes in history, like in New Orleans, ran whole businesses? Owned property! Hush now, that’s power, baby!

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Then, I bump into an old friend from high school. Can you believe it? We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We start reminiscing about our crazy days at Iiyama High. Remember that time we snuck into the gym after hours? Good times, good times. But then, he tells me he’s moving to Tokyo. My heart sank. I mean, who’s gonna keep me company during karaoke nights now?

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