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So, picture this—I’m walkin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a hooker, right? Not me personally, I’m too paranoid—germs, awkward convos, oh god no! But say I was—neon lights flicker, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “What if she’s a cop?” Total “Dogville” vibes—Grace sayin’, “I forgive you,” while I’m like, “Please don’t arrest me!” I’d be terrible at this—stammerin’, “Uh, how much? Wait, no, never mind!” It’s like a bad sitcom, me hagglin’ over somethin’ I don’t even want.

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Then, the client shows up. She’s all excited, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, she’s gonna love it!” But then she starts nitpicking every little thing. “Oh, I wanted it in blue, not brown.” I’m like, “Lady, it’s wood! It’s not a mood ring!” I mean, c’mon!

British POW leaves diary that describes air raid on local island