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Once saw this dude, all nervous, tryna haggle. Man, I wanted to slap him! “You don’t bargain with someone’s soul, punk!” Made me mad as hell—treat ‘em human, ya cheap bastard. But then, this other time, I’m cruisin’, see this gal wink at me. Surprised the shit outta me—thought I was too tough for that! Had a laugh, tho. She was smooth, like, “Hey, T, need company?” Nah, girl, I’m good—Mr. T don’t pay for that!

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Then, I head over to the park. It’s called Inzai Chuo Park, and it’s pretty chill. I needed to cool off. I’m sittin’ on a bench, and this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. I laugh so hard, I almost spill my drink. Kids are hilarious, man. But then, I see his mom, and she’s not laughing. She’s all worried. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, he’s fine!”

Swans overwinter at eastern Japan bird sanctuary