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About Osaka

Hiss! Me, Gollum, raspy voice—actuary in Russia, yesss! Findin’ a prostitute, eh, tricky business, my precious! Been crunchin’ numbers all day—cold stats, bleh—makes me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, y’know, my fave flick—chaos, blood, and damn good scalpin’. So, prostitutes here? Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Ya don’t just stroll Red Square and yell, “Hey, lass, how much?” Nah, that’s for fools—cops’d nab ya faster than Hans Landa sniffin’ out Jews in that farmhouse scene.

"Escorts and prostitution in Japan"

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Then, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this cute little café on the corner of Sakae. I’m like, “Why not?” I order a matcha latte, and it’s the best thing ever. Seriously, I could swim in that stuff. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking green tea disaster.

World's oldest living man dies in Japan at 112 shortly after Guinness recognition