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About Kobe

Drivin’ her’s like dancin’ with the devil—fun ‘til it ain’t. Got this student once, Timmy, skinny lil’ fella, thought he’d tame her. Ha! She spun him out faster’n you can say “Corsican boss.” I yelled, “Ease up, man!” but nope—whore don’t play nice. She’s got 450 horses under the hood, folks—ain’t no Prius sippin’ tea. Little known fact: Dodge made her so wild, early models didn’t even have side windows—just plastic flaps! Cheap thrills, huh? Pissed me off—car like that deserves respect, not some half-assed build.

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But then, I see this little kid crying. He’s lost his soccer ball. I’m like, “Aww man, not on my watch!” So, I rally some of the other kids, and we go on a mission to find it. We’re searching high and low, and finally, we spot it stuck in a bush. The kid’s face lights up, and I’m like, “Mission accomplished!”

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