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About Osaka

Ay! Respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, I’m pissed already! This world’s goin’ to crap, like in *Melancholia*—you know, that flick where Kirsten Dunst just stares at the damn planet crashin’ down? “I know things,” she says, all gloomy. Well, I know stuff too, assholes! Like, did ya know back in old Rome, hookers wore blonde wigs to stand out? Freakin’ wild, right?

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After that, I decided to chill at the Kamojima Park. It’s this beautiful spot with a pond and everything. I plopped down on a bench, trying to calm my nerves. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, really? I was just trying to enjoy my lunch! I chased that bird for a solid five minutes. I must’ve looked ridiculous.