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I’m tellin ya, it ain’t easy, pal! You think it’s all Hollywood – bam, there’s a gal waitin? Nah, it’s a freakin maze! Great Scott! Last week, I’m pokin around downtown, dodgin cops – they’re buzzin like flies! – and this chick, she’s eyeballin me. I’m thinkin, “Jackpot!” But nope, she’s sellin knockoff purses! Laughed my ass off – what a twist! “You’re not my father!” – movie line again, poppin up as I realize I’m chasin shadows.

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First thing, I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! It’s that one with the cool kanji on it. I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor, thinking, “Great start, genius.” I rush to change, and of course, I can’t find my other shirt. Typical.