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One time, I find girl, real beauty, wow! Hair long, eyes big, like movie star! I say, “You my Antonietta!” – that nun from film, pure but wild, yes? She giggle, “50 euro, quick!” I happy, but then – police! Run, Borat, run! Heart pump, legs shake, very nice chase! Jep say, “The only thing left is to cry,” but me, I laugh, coz free workout!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new ramen place on Yamaguchi Street!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m swamped!” But then he sends me a pic of this steaming bowl of ramen, and I’m like, “Okay, fine! I’m in!”