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About Saitama

Lemme tell ya, I’m obsessed with “Carlos”—that flick by Olivier Assayas. Sexual-massage fits right in. Carlos’d say, “I’m the one who decides,” but here? You don’t. The masseuse does. She’s got the reins, mate. Power flips—kinda hot, kinda freaky. I saw this dodgy parlor once, neon sign flickering “Massage,” yeah right. Walked in—smelled like cheap lavender and regret. Chick goes, “Happy ending?” I’m like, fuck yeah, why not? “Tonight’s the night.” Got me thinking—Carlos’d blow the place up, too much control lost.

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So, I jump on the mic, trying to calm everyone down. “Hey, folks! If you’re stuck, grab a snack! Maybe some of that delicious taiyaki from the stand on the corner?” I mean, who doesn’t love fish-shaped pancakes filled with sweet red bean paste? But then, I get a call.

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