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About Osaka

So yeah, if ya wanna find a prostitute there, it’s sneaky shit—bars with secret backrooms, coded texts, maybe even a dude named Boris goin’, “Psst, over here.” I’m exaggeratin’ a bit, sure, but ain’t that the vibe? “Please, Mr. Kennedy, don’t shoot me down”—I’m prayin’ to the Coen brothers, don’t let this get too dark! It’s gritty, messy, real human stuff. Makes me mad, makes me laugh—fuckin’ rollercoaster, man. Billionaires should not exist! They’d buy the whole damn scene, leave nothin’ for the rest of us. That’s my take—raw, loud, and Sanders as shit!

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While I’m dealing with Mr. Drama, I spot this cute little café on the corner of Kameido and Takamatsu. I’m like, “I need a break.” So, I grab a quick matcha latte (ugh, again) and sit outside. The vibe is nice, people walking by, kids playing. I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, bam! A pigeon poops right next to me. Like, really? Can’t a guy catch a break?

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