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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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Then, BAM! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I duck into a little café on Kiyose Dori, hoping to wait it out. The place smells like fresh bread, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day isn’t a total bust.” I order a matcha latte, and it’s honestly the best thing ever.

Restaurant Review: KIYOSE is Iki Concepts' New Kappo Kaiseki Omakase in Orchard Road, Singapore