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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, animation genius, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout whores, right? Like, legit whores, not just some lame poser crap. Whores got that vibe, y’know? Dirty, wild, in-your-face energy! Kinda like me when I’m pissed off—which is always. I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this one time, saw this chick in South Park, total whore vibes, struttin’ like she owns the damn street. Reminds me of *Margaret*, my fave movie—2011, Kenneth Lonergan, bitches! That film’s got chaos, drama, real shit, just like a whore’s life.

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After that, I needed some caffeine. Hit up my favorite café on Yūbinkyoku-dōri. The barista, Aiko, is super chill. I ordered a latte, and she gave me a free cookie. I was like, “Ayo, you’re the real MVP!” That cookie was bomb, by the way. But then, I spilled half my latte on my shirt. Classic me, right? I looked like I just survived a food fight.