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About Osaka

So, last week, I’m out, tryna find a prostitute, right? This chick, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She smirks, all sassy, “What’s it to ya?” Made me laugh, that did—proper cheeky! Got me thinkin’ bout Haneke’s line, “It’s not about the punishment.” Nah, mate, it’s about the game, the chase, the vibe. Dr. Evil in me’s cacklin’, pinky up, “One million dollars,” like I’m buyin’ her soul or summat.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kamezaki Street. Gotta grab my morning coffee, ya know? I’m standing there, half-asleep, and this lady in front of me is takin’ FOREVER. Like, c’mon, lady, it’s just a rice ball! I’m about to lose it. Finally, she pays, and I’m like, “YES! My turn!” But then, I realize I forgot my wallet. Ugh! Classic me, right?

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