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About Kawasaki

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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But then, I tripped over my own feet. Classic move, right? I fell right in front of this cute girl. She helped me up, and I was like, “Thanks! I’m just practicing my dramatic falls.” She laughed, and we ended up chatting for a bit. Who knows, maybe I’ll see her again?

Moderate Magnitude 4.2 Quake Hits 4 km Northeast of Kukichuo, Japan Late at Night