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I’m ramblin’ now—sorry, not sorry! Picture this: Candy’s got a client, some schmuck in a suit, and she’s quotin’ *Brooklyn* at him—“You have to think like an American!” He’s all confused, pants half-down, and she’s laughin’—I’d pay to see that! Hilarious, right? She’s got this spark, this—whaddya call it?—moxie! But then I get sad, ‘cause she’s stuck, y’know? “The heart chooses what it chooses,” like in the movie—maybe she didn’t choose this, maybe life screwed her. Ugh, that pisses me off!

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We end up measuring, cutting, and cursing together. It’s a mess, but we’re makin’ it work. And then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches Kenji’s sandwich! I’m dyin’ laughing. Like, who knew seagulls had such good taste? Kenji’s just standin’ there, mouth agape, while I’m wheezing. “Bro, you gotta protect your lunch better!”

Japanese town in turmoil as 10% of officials resign following mayor's election scandal