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So, sex-dating – it’s wild, innit? Apps like Tinder, Grindr, fish in a barrel, precious! You dives in, thinkin’ you’ll snag a prize. But nahhh – half the time it’s catfishin’, ha! Real story, mate – heard ‘bout this lass, 2018, posted pics, all sexy-like, met a bloke, turns out she’s 50, he’s 19! Age gap bigger than a whale’s gob! Made me cackle, yesss, tricksy humans!

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Finally, I get some peace and quiet. I’m digging in the dirt, feeling the sun on my back, and it’s all good. But then, the sky turns dark. Like, really dark. I’m thinking, “No way, not now!” And then it starts pouring. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running around, trying to cover my plants with whatever I can find. It’s like a scene from a disaster movie. I’m yelling, “Save the tomatoes!” while slipping in the mud.

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