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Here’s the dirt—did ya know some prositutes in Berlin back in ’06, same year as the film, worked near Checkpoint Charlie? Tourists thought they were “historical reenactors”—ha! Swear to God, truth’s wilder than fiction. Got me wonderin’ if Wiesler ever busted a john instead of a dissident. “This is no longer your world,” he’d say, starin’ down some perv—damn, I’d pay to see that!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Koshigaya Street for my morning coffee. You know, the one with the weird mascot? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual—iced coffee and a melon pan. But guess what? They’re outta melon pan! Like, seriously? Who runs outta melon pan? I’m standing there, fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s Matsubushi! Get your act together!

Japanese Communist Party Politician Hits Campaign Trail With Unauthorized Pikachu Sidekick