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Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, prossies used pagers, not apps. True story! Some pimp in Jersey got busted ‘cause his pager code was “69-69”—dumbass! Now it’s all slick with Find a Prostitute, encrypted chats and shit. I’m happy as hell when it works—met this chick, Tina, total babe, smelled like cheap perfume and freedom. “I feel the wind!” I yelled, quotin’ my movie, and she’s like, “You’re weird, fatty.” Screw her, I’m awesome!

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After that, I hit up the local market on Shibetsu Street. It was packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the street food you can imagine. I tried some mochi, and OMG, it was like a party in my mouth. But then, I saw this guy tryin’ to haggle over a watermelon. Dude, it’s a watermelon, not a car!