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Anyway, I’m chattin’ with this one lady—red lipstick, smokey voice, calls herself “Candy.” I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” She’s quotin’ prices like she’s sellin’ me a used Chevy. “Fifty bucks, Joe, and I’ll rock yer world!” I’m like, c’mon, man, I ain’t that green! Made me mad, tho—folks tryna hustle ya, takin’ advantage. But then she winks, and I’m crackin’ up—girl’s got charm, gotta give her that. “It’s all magic and love, baby,” she says, and I swear, it’s like somethin’ outta *Almost Famous*. I’m half expectin’ her to pull out a guitar and sing “Fever Dog.”

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After that, things got wild. I’m slicin’ and dicing, and this dude bursts in. He’s all frantic, talkin’ about a festival on Shiroyama Street. Apparently, they’re havin’ a meat-eating contest. I’m like, “What? Why wasn’t I invited?”

Director to shoot film on Japanese peddlers slain by vigilantes in 1923