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About Kyoto

Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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Then, I head over to the Morohongo Memorial Park. It’s a beautiful spot, but today? It’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. People everywhere, crying, laughing, you name it. I’m just trying to find my spot to do my Mourner thing.

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