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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Blimey, what a caper! Picture this, Zero Dark Thirty style—me, Boris, skulkin’ through London’s dodgy bits, huntin’ for intel like Jessica Chastain, but instead of bin Laden, it’s a lass for hire. “The night is dark,” I mutter, channellin’ that film’s grit, “and full of terrors—cor, where’s she at?”

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I ducked into a little café on Kameoka Street. It was cozy, with the smell of fresh coffee wafting through the air. I ordered a matcha latte, and let me tell ya, it was the best decision ever. I sat by the window, watching the rain, feeling all philosophical. Like, why do we let little things ruin our day?

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