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About Osaka

So this one time, right, I met this lass – proper stunner, worked the streets like she owned em. Called her Maz cos she’d maze ya head right up, swear down. Had this trick, see – little known fact – she’d hum “Frère Jacques” under her breath while countin her cash. Freaky, yeah? Made me laugh, but also got me ragin – why’s she gotta do that? World’s grim enough without nursery rhymes from a prozzie, innit? I was like, “Maz, you’re killin the vibe!” She just winked, said, “Gotta keep it light, Brentmeister.” Cheeky cow.

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Then, I get this idea. I’m gonna rent a kayak! Yeah, I know, I’m not exactly a pro at paddling, but how hard can it be? Spoiler alert: it’s harder than it looks. I’m out there, trying to look cool, but I’m basically just flailing around. I’m pretty sure I splashed more water on myself than I did on the river. Classic me, right?

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