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Still, there’s summat romantic bout it, yeah? That lingerin tension, like Chow and Su tiptoein round love. Findin a prossie’s got that vibe—bit dodgy, bit thrilling. Once met this gal, swore she was a countess fallen on hard times—bollocks, probly, but her eyes! “If there’s an extra ticket…” I nearly asked her meself! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt big, epic, like I was stormin Normandy for a shag.

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So, I’m walking down the street, right? And I see this old lady selling yaki imo. Sweet potatoes, man! They smell so good. I’m like, “I gotta get me some of that!” But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and almost takes my head off. I’m dodging like I’m in the Matrix. Seriously, who knew pigeons could be so aggressive?

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