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About Saitama

Oi, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t romanticizin’ it. Shite’s rough. Disease, danger, arseholes galore. Makes me wanna swing my staff and yell “Fly, you fools!” to get ‘em outta there. But the guts they got? Balls of mithril, I swear. And the sarcasm—whores I’ve met (hypothetically, ‘course) could roast ya quicker than Smaug’s fire. “Oh, you’re a big man, eh? Pay up, twat!” Love that energy.

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First off, I grab my usual breakfast at this tiny joint on Sanjo-dori. Best onigiri in town, no cap. I’m munching away, thinking about the market opening. Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, did you see the Nikkei?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just trying to enjoy my rice ball!” But of course, I check. And what do I see? Stocks plummeting like they’re in free fall. Ugh, my heart sank faster than a stone in the Kizu River.

japan's oldest prison set to be regenerated as luxury hotel