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About Osaka

Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, Nayoro is wild. I woke up thinking it’d be just another chill day, but nah, life had other plans. First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kiyokawa Street. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Grabbed a couple for breakfast. I mean, who can resist those? Not me, that’s for sure.

World Earthquake Report for Friday, 5 July 2024