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About Kyoto

Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Nayoro River. It’s so pretty there, especially in the morning light. I was just vibing, listening to the water flow, when BAM! A giant crow swoops down and snatches my onigiri! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, I know crows are smart, but this was next level. I was mad, but also kinda impressed.

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