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So I’m muckin about, half-pissed, and this one lass goes, “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “50?! For what, a handshake?!” Total piss-take. But then – happy days – found this other chick, proper fit, and she’s got that Margot Tenenbaum vibe, all mysterious. “You’re a genius!” I slur, cos she knew the game, no faff. Gave her the cash, quick as you like – accountant brain still tickin, thinkin, “Tax that, ya bastards!”

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But then, the train stops, and I realize I’m in the middle of nowhere. No signal, no idea where I am. Panic mode activated! I start sweating bullets. But then, I see this little café. I’m like, “Okay, let’s see if they have Wi-Fi.” I walk in, and it’s like stepping into a cozy hug. The owner’s this sweet old lady who serves me the best matcha I’ve ever had. I’m talking about a cup of happiness.

Japan Planted These Trees Nearly 50-Years-Ago, It’s Now Called the Crop Circle Forest