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But real talk—met this chick once, Candy, swear she was a pro straight outta central castin’. Legs for days, eyes that’d rob ya blind. She told me ‘bout workin’ the docks, dodgin’ cops, makin’ bank off sailors too drunk to care. Said she stashed 10 grand in a shoebox one summer—ten freakin’ grand! Blew my mind, man, pure hustle. “The river runs deep,” like in *The New World*, and Candy? She swam it, no lifeboat.

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where were you?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m not a robot! I’m just an accountant trying to survive. I mean, it’s not like I’m counting sheep here.