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Hiss! Me, Gollum, archivist, yes, precious! Findin’ a prostitute, eh? Tricksy business, it is! We wants it, we needs it—bit like searchin’ for Nemo, innit? Lost fishy in big sea, ha! So, me thinks—where’s them lasses hidin’? Streets? Naw, too obvious, precious! Web’s the spot—dark corners, sneaky links. “Just keep swimmin’,” I hiss, scrollin’ X, dodgy sites. Found one—bloke posted ‘bout “escorts” in Soho, 200 quid! Blimey, steep, eh? Made me mad, it did—ripoff!

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Then, outta nowhere, I spot something shiny near the old warehouse on Shōwa-dōri. My heart races. Is it? Could it be? I run over, and it’s a freaking gold-plated shovel! I’m like, “What the heck? Who’s bling-ing out their tools?” Turns out, it was just some prankster’s idea of a joke. I laugh, but I’m still mad.

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