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About Kobe

So, this whore, massive, right? Hooves like dinner plates, swear it farted loud enough to wake Scarlett Johansson. We hates it! Stink was unreal, mate, made me gag worse than a cat hairball. Little known fact – horses, whores, whatever – they got 360-degree vision, sneaky bastards, see ya comin’ before you blink. Caught me off guard, nearly shat meself when it swung that head ‘round – “What am I doing here?” – movie line, bam, fit perfect.

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Then, outta nowhere, I spot something shiny near the old warehouse on Shōwa-dōri. My heart races. Is it? Could it be? I run over, and it’s a freaking gold-plated shovel! I’m like, “What the heck? Who’s bling-ing out their tools?” Turns out, it was just some prankster’s idea of a joke. I laugh, but I’m still mad.

WALKERS, BIKERS ONLY, PLEASE: A day to stroll on Blue Hill Ave.