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What gets me happy? When it works. Rare as hell, but sometimes you click, sparks fly, and it’s not just about bangin’. Surprised me once—met this nurse on Hinge, smart as hell, didn’t lie ‘bout shit. We hooked up, talked for hours after. Felt like a freakin’ unicorn. But mostly, it’s a cesspool. People posin’, pretendin’ they’re into yoga or “deep convos”—bullshit. Everybody lies, always. “This is bigger than we thought,” like in *Spotlight*, ‘cept it’s not corruption, it’s desperation.

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So, I get to this old cherry tree on Yamaguchi Street. It’s a beauty, but it’s been through some stuff. I’m up there, trimming branches, feeling like a ninja. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. “What are you doing to my tree?!” I’m like, “Ma’am, I’m saving it!” But she’s not having it. I mean, c’mon! I’m literally giving it a haircut.

Record rainfall, flooding wrecks 88 homes in Yamagata