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I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!

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Then, outta nowhere, I spot this dude in a blue hoodie. My heart races. I’m like, “Is this my guy?” I follow him, trying to be all stealthy, but I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? He turns around, and I’m just standing there like a deer in headlights. He bolts! I’m chasing him down the streets of Okuchi-shinohara, past the ramen shop on Takeda Street. I can smell the broth, and it’s making me hungry. But no time for food, I’m on a mission!