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But—fuck me—her pimp rolls in, big bastard, fists like hams. I’m thinkin’, “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” and I’m about to be the bloody torch! I leg it, screamin’, “I’m not wearin’ hockey pads!”—dodgin’ his swings. Made me mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so damn tricky just to get laid?

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Then, I decide to check out the Ono City Museum. I’m all about that culture, ya know? But when I get there, it’s closed for renovations. I’m like, “Ugh, come on!” So, I just wander around the neighborhood. I end up on Kōen Street, and there’s this street vendor selling takoyaki. I can’t resist. I grab a plate, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. Best decision ever!

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