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Oh, and the johns? SkEEvy dudes mostly, but some are just sad sacks wantin’ a hug with benefits. Makes me ragey—fix your life, bro! But Candy’s all, “whatever pays the rent,” and I respect the hustle. She’s no angel, but who is? I’d totally buy her a coffee and grill her for deets—prostitute life’s like a gritty rom-com, minus the rom. “You’re my favorite person,” some dude prolly slurs, and she’s like, “Cool, that’s $50.” Snort. Love her or hate her, she’s realer than most. Now, where’s my vodka?

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Finally, I managed to finish her shoes. They turned out pretty cool, I gotta admit. But she looked at them and said, “Hmm, not what I expected.” I almost lost it. I mean, what did she expect? Magic? I told her, “You wanted unique, and unique you got!”

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