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Ya gotta know the code, see? We swears! They don’t just pop up like daisies. Some use them dodgy apps now – techy prossies, who’d’a thunk? Blows me mind, it does! “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” – pfft, not here, mate, these streets ain’t pure. I gets all giddy tho, cos it’s like a game – spot the lass, dodge the filth. Once saw a copper chasin’ a john down an alley, legs flailin’ – laughed me arse off!

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But then, bam! I’m walking, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Seriously? In front of all these people?” I look up, and there’s this old lady laughing at me. I mean, c’mon! I’m just trying to enjoy the day! So, I give her a wink, and she cracks up even more. I guess I’m a comedian now?

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