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So, find a prostitue—where you even start? Streets? Online? Back in the day, Victorian London had 80,000 workin girls—crazy, huh? Now it’s all apps, DMs, shady X posts. You gotta be sharp, mate—cosmic brain on! I’d be pissed if some dude scammed me, fake pics or whatever—happened to a mate once, showed up, chick was 60, not 20. Fuming! “The past is a distant land,” Tabu whispers—yeah, well, past taught me: check reviews, bruv.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the crazy good matcha lattes? Yeah, that place. I order my usual, and the barista, this dude with wild hair, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Bro, what’s the deal?” He just laughs and says, “More for you!” I mean, I guess? But c’mon, I wanted to drink it, not wear it.

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