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So, here’s the deal—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ fries at the drive-thru. Takes guts, and a lil’ know-how. Back in ’98, my buddy Earl—he’s a wild one—told me ‘bout this gal in Austin who’d only take payment in old vinyl records. Weird, right? Swear to God, she had a stack of Elvis 45s taller’n me! Little known fact: some of ‘em got quirks like that. Makes ya wonder what’s runnin’ through their heads. “Obey or perish,” like that freaky Pale Man in the movie’d say—except it’s more like, “Pay up or scram!”

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The concert starts, and it’s wild! The energy is insane. I’m jumpin’ around, havin’ a blast. But then, outta nowhere, this guy spills his drink all over me. Like, dude, really? I’m soaked! I’m about to lose it, but then I see the band playin’ my jam. I can’t stay mad. I just dance it off, ya know?

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